BOOK's

At the start of the year, I gave myself a challenge: to read 12 books, one for each month of the year. For some people, that might not sound like a big deal, but for me, it was huge. I’ve never been what you’d call a big reader. I’m dyslexic, and while I don’t see it as a struggle, I’ve often felt embarrassed about my reading and writing skills. They don’t quite match what society would call the “standard,” and that’s always been a source of self-doubt.

My journey into reading didn’t even start as a personal goal. It began when someone gave me a book. At first, I picked it up more out of politeness than genuine interest, I wanted to show I cared about them. But as I kept reading, something surprising happened: I enjoyed it. It was a big book, too, and finishing it gave me a sense of accomplishment I hadn’t expected.

That experience stuck with me, and when this year rolled around, I decided to set a goal: 12 books. I wasn’t just trying to hit a number; I wanted to prove to myself that I could stick with something and see it through. What’s surprised me the most is how much I’ve exceeded that goal. So far, I’ve read 28 books, and with a little luck, I’ll hit 30 by the end of the year.

There was even one month where I managed four (or maybe five?) books, which still amazes me. It’s funny to think about how much I’ve grown to enjoy reading, it’s something I never thought would be “my thing.” But here I am, not just reading but loving it.

Reading hasn’t just opened up new worlds for me; it’s also inspired me to write. Writing has become a way for me to process my feelings, especially during this lonely and uncertain time in my life. While there are positive things happening, it’s hard to fully embrace them when I don’t have anyone to share them with. Writing has given me a way to express myself, to put into words the emotions I can’t always say aloud.

It’s not easy to confront these feelings, but I’m taking small steps. Each word I write feels like a step toward understanding myself better. Maybe, by continuing to explore my thoughts and emotions through writing, I’ll find clarity. Maybe I’ll finally feel like I’ve broken through this dark period and rediscovered who I truly am.