A Toxic Workplace.

 

Six months ago, I lost my job, though saying I simply lost it is an understatement. I was forced out by the company due to my refusal to tolerate their toxic behaviour.

I had been with the company since its inception six years ago in the heart of London. Initially, there were around 40 to 50 of us who started together. Over the following six years, everyone else eventually departed, leaving me as the sole remaining original member. The first four years were generally positive; despite the usual ups and downs, I enjoyed four promotions during that time. Life was good—I laughed, joked, and even fell in love. Why wouldn't it be?

But then things took a turn for the worse, particularly after the lockdown ended. Like many businesses in the hospitality sector, we struggled to find quality staff post-lockdown. This led to two years of being overworked, stressed, and constantly playing catch-up with others' work. I reached out to senior management for support multiple times, only to be met with indifference.

On one occasion, I approached my line manager, expressing my inability to handle the workload alone and maintain the functionality of my department. Previously, such issues hadn't arisen because my team members and managers fulfilled their responsibilities. However, nowadays, all I received were complaints from my team, and other departments failing to meet their obligations directly impacted mine. The response I received was disheartening: "Since our transition to a new company, I see you're under immense pressure to implement changes. It's like you're building a boat, sailing it, and then discovering it's on fire, and you're left putting out the flames. Just do your best." Basically, a pat on the back and an absurd analogy that did little to address my concerns.

That was the extent of the help I received, three months into the transition. Four months later, I found myself in a room with HR and my line manager, being told it would be best to part ways. It wasn't due to any wrongdoing or gross misconduct on my part; rather, I believe it stemmed from months of receiving no support, burning out, refusing to shoulder other departments' burdens, and making my dissatisfaction known. Despite formally requesting access to my file and voicing my unwillingness to endure their toxic environment, they presented me with an ultimatum: accept their offer or face disciplinary action. The pretext? Failure to respond to a single guest email and leaving work early due to a family emergency.

Though I could have contested the disciplinary action, the truth is, I wasn't mentally or physically equipped to handle it. Moreover, I had already decided to resign by the week's end—they simply beat me to it.

Looking back, I'm relieved to no longer be part of that environment. The individuals who came with the transition were toxic, backstabbing, and among the most unpleasant colleagues I've encountered. While unemployment presents its challenges, I have no regrets about leaving that toxic workplace. As for the challenges I currently face, I'll delve into those in more detail later.

The scenario I've outlined isn't unique. I've spoken to others who have found themselves in similarly toxic environments: overloaded with work, lacking support, and teetering on the brink of burnout despite reaching out for help and highlighting the pressure they're under. The company's failure to provide adequate support or training exacerbates the issue, with policies and personnel seemingly ineffectual in preventing such situations. I'm specifically calling out line managers and the Human Resources Department, who prioritise cosmetic changes like renaming themselves from HR to People and Culture, while spouting rhetoric about work-life balance.

In my experience, and from what others have shared with me, HR isn't there for the individual; they exist solely to safeguard the company's interests. Perhaps this differs where you're employed, but in my workplace, as well as where my friends and others have worked, HR did little to assist or support those experiencing burnout. In fact, when individuals did approach HR about their stress and pressure, they often exacerbated the situation, sometimes leading to the forced departure or the individual feels compelled to leave the company.

So what is the solution? How can you stop the growth and spread of a toxic environment within your workplace? That depends on where you sit within the hierarchy of your organisation. For example, if you are a manager overseeing a department and you notice one of your employees is toxic or is promoting a toxic environment, there are certain actions you can take before resorting to disciplinary measures.

You can initiate a one-on-one conversation with that individual, discussing their work and ensuring everything is okay. During this conversation, you can subtly highlight their attitude and approach to the workplace and their colleagues, hoping they recognise how their behaviour is negatively impacting the department. If necessary, a second conversation should also be conducted in a one-on-one setting, with notes taken for reference. It's advisable to document the first conversation for your personal files. If there is still no change after the third conversation, it may be necessary to evaluate where they are failing within their job role and consider removing them from the workplace. While not ideal, if you've exhausted all efforts to create a safe working environment and they are the ones impeding it, it's time to cut your losses.

However, if the toxic environment is being created by someone or a group in a position above yourself and attempts to address it have been unsuccessful, it's crucial to take a step back and assess the situation's impact on you. My mistake was not taking this step earlier to understand how the toxic environment was affecting me and my loved ones. I failed to heed the advice of my loved ones and mistakenly believed I could resolve everything on my own, but that wasn't the case.

Once you have taken that step back, examine the situation for what it is, and then ask yourself the following questions:

    1. Is there anything you can do to change the current environment?

    2. Have you done everything possible to change the current environment?

    3. What impact is the current environment having on you mentally and/or physically?

    4. What impact is the current environment having on your personal life?

    5. How do you feel about your current situation?

    6. Do you want to stay in this environment? 

    7. Do you want to continue working here, do you see a future for yourself here?                                                                              

You need to be honest with yourself; you owe yourself that honesty. If you feel you can no longer continue in the current environment, if you feel that this is harming you, there is only one decision: Preparing to exit the company. That doesn't mean you hand in your resignation straight away and walk out of the door; it means you change your mindset. Start preparing to look for another job. Update your CV, browse job sites, and start sending out your CV. Talk to friends; inform them of your unhappiness in your current workplace. Find out if they know of any vacancies or if they have friends who might know of opportunities. It's about being proactive about changing your current situation and looking after your health, both physically and mentally. Staying in a toxic environment and hoping things will improve doesn't work. What does work is making a change, no matter how daunting it may seem.

If I had taken these steps, maybe some of the relationships I valued would still be here for me.